(Published in the Democrat and Chronicle on April 4th, 2012)
You’re a parent. Along with parenting’s daily joys and heartaches, part of your job is to turn this offspring of yours into a functioning adult, who will one day move out of your house. And as good a parent as you are, there is probably something you are forgetting to teach your child simply because there is so much for children to learn. As a helpful reminder, here’s a short guide of some of the most important skills you need to teach them.
How to read. This seems obvious, of course, but many adults do not know how to read. That means there is no guarantee your child will learn. Reading is hard work and some children need help to learn and master this skill. Be sure they get it.
How to cook a meal. Everyone needs to learn the skills that go into cooking a meal. These include using coupons, making grocery lists, going shopping, preparing food, cooking, serving and yes, cleaning up afterward.
How to be financially literate. Don’t assume that knowing math is the same thing as knowing how to balance a checkbook and keep it balanced, or knowing when an offer is too good to be true. Start talking about and teaching these skills today.
How to work hard. Today, the message everywhere is how to get a lot for as little work as possible. Successful people know how to sit down, dig in and work hard. Model this at home, and give your children jobs and to-do lists so that they can learn this skill as early as possible. Our whole culture is working against you on this one!
How to avoid an unplanned pregnancy. This is important for both boys and girls. Health education in schools is great but often starts too late. Some preteens have already been sexually active by the time parents or schools get around to teaching this information. So start early. Be direct, express your values, provide practical advice, keep the communication lines open, and involve your pediatrician if you are uncomfortable teaching these skills yourself, or find out you started too late.
How to run, bike or walk. Daily exercise can literally be a lifesaver. With physical education classes being cut in many schools, there’s even more of a reason for parents to model and teach these skills. Knowing how to exercise and doing it regularly can add years to your child’s life.
How to be a friend. Many individuals today are good at making friends but struggle with maintaining friendships over time. This is a different skill set than knowing how to make a good first impression. Knowing how to resolve differences and keep a friendship growing means you also know how to be a good spouse. Young children need direct teaching and guidance on how to maintain friendships over time.
How to compromise. Compromise is an essential skill in any human relationship. It is particularly vital in close personal relationships and in the job world. Many children, however, don’t know how to do it. This is a difficult skill to teach, but it can be done through direct instruction and modeling.