Some years ago one of my young patients, a medically complex nine-year-old who was chronically ill with a lung disease, had been hospitalized for about a week. The head nurse caring for him, a long-time colleague and friend, reached out to me as a courtesy.
“Ben, I’m calling about one of your patients,” the nurse began. “Actually, it’s about the mother.”
I had cared for this child and his siblings for at least a dozen years as a primary care physician. I knew the mother well, and I knew how loving, supportive, and capable she was of caring for her son.
“The hospital team is becoming increasingly concerned,” the nurse continued. “They’re saying she doesn’t seem to be emotionally impacted by the state of her son’s condition. She’s not showing up to the hospital until the evening, and she’s missing meetings with the care team. They’re questioning if she understands how serious his condition is.” She paused, “They want to know if there is something about the mother’s intellectual development or mental health needs that we should know about.”